I posted the cover at "COVERS". Enjoy my friends!!!
May 2009
Brooke Shields on Beauty, Marriage, And Self-Esteem
By Amy Spencer/ Health Magazine
Model, movie star, TV actress, Broadway performer, and children’s book author Brooke Shields continues her conversation with Health about aging, raising children, and growing up Bohemian.
It doesn’t get more grounded than Brooke Shields. Five minutes into our interview, she’s telling a story like a good friend you saw just yesterday. How is it possible that Brooke, 44, can be so down-to-earth when she’s so darn famous?
She’s been in the public eye for three decades, as a model, movie star, TV actress, Broadway performer, and children’s-book author (her latest is It’s the Best Day Ever, Dad!). And after chronicling her postpartum depression in Down Came the Rain, Brooke landed at the heart of an important women’s-health issue.
Now eight years into her marriage with writer and producer Chris Henchy, the couple is raising two daughters, Rowan, 6, and Grier, 3. Read on to find out how she balances her crazy-busy life, and what else happened the day the world’s most famous movie star popped by to apologize.
Q: You devote a lot of time to charities, especially Tupperware’s Chain of Confidence campaign. Why are you so passionate about that and the SMART Girls program that Tupperware sponsors?
A: What Tupperware has stood for all these years is the independence of women, allowing women to work from home, earn a living—and that’s what this Boys & Girls Clubs of America program, the SMART Girls program, is about. You just get these young women who don’t necessarily have a healthy family life, or they’re being raised by their grandmother, and this is a place they can go to and they can get power. That’s what you want for these little people when they go out as young women.
Q: Is it true you had a sun scare?
A: Yeah, this [Brooke touches a patch on her upper left lip] keeps coming back. I’ve had it for a while, but a year ago my doctor froze it off and it turned out it was precancerous. I was panicked. I thought, Of course! Everything’s started to be in place, and now I have to get that? When everything is going well, my Catholic guilt rears its ugly head and says, “No, you’re not allowed to be that happy. We’re gonna give you cancer now!”
Q: Is that why you’re now working with Coppertone’s NutraShield campaign?
A: I was from the generation of sitting out with oil and tin foil over your schoolbook [to reflect more sun]. It wasn’t until I had kids that I started being more concerned. We need to protect our skin and our kids’ skin, and we need to do it now. I put it on before [my makeup]. It’s easier to use sunblock as a moisturizer and then call it a day. I incorporate it into my morning, and keep it in the daily tooth-care area so that it seems like a daily routine.
Q: You’ve been married eight years. What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever heard?
A: Someone wrote on a card at my shower, “Don’t ever go to bed angry.” It’s one of the oldest ones in the book, but it’s so interesting what happens when you do. It’s toxic. Your dreams are affected, and then in the morning, you’ve already been damaged. We’ll resolve at least to disagree. And then, I just find I sleep so much better.
Q: What’s most rewarding—and challenging—about raising two girls?
A: Their vulnerability is the best and worst thing. The baby will hold my face and say, “I just love you so much, Mommy.” And it’s like, Oh, ohhh, I don’t know if I can live up to this! And, yet, it’s the best. They’ll make you crazy, but they’ll also make you so happy that you’re crazy.
Q: You’ve said that being a working mom leaves you exhausted. How do you reenergize?
A: Exercise is the only thing that reinvigorates me. I make appointments with other people [to go hiking], and I meet them at the base of the hill—because I’ll answer to that. I usually enjoy [exercise] after much more than I enjoy it during.
Q: What’s the most surprising thing about getting older?
A: The older I get, the younger I feel. Growing up, I was always the kid, but I spoke like an adult and was in adult roles. I didn’t feel like a kid. The older I get, I actually feel younger! Which is good. I always thought when you get older, you’ll want to slow down, but I want to do even more.
Q: Do you have a favorite splurge?
A: A good hunk of dark Belgian chocolate. As I’m getting older, I’m enjoying my vices so much more because I feel like I’ve deserved them.
Q: What’s your biggest health regret?
A: Not learning to love the way I looked earlier. And I think I would have had sex a lot earlier! [Laughs.] I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22. I had the public and all this pressure, and I wish I had just gotten it over with in the beginning when it was sort of OK. I think I would have been much more in touch with myself. I think I wouldn’t have had issues with weight—I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected. And to me, that’s a health regret.
Q: Are you ever afraid the depression you felt after having Rowan will rear its head again?
A: I mean, if I have a bad day, it’s not that the people around me don’t go, “Uh, is she OK?” That’s the hardest part. I have to say, “I’m fine, just leave me alone!”
Q: Do you ever worry?
A: I don’t, because now I’m armed with knowledge and experience, and I won’t ever let myself think it’s OK to let [those feelings] continue. But who knows what menopause is going to be like for me?
Q: What happened the day Tom Cruise came over to apologize?
A: [Tom] called an hour ahead and said, “Can I?” And I was like, “Uhhh … am I being Punk’d?” I called my husband, I called my publicist, I was like, “What do I do?” I did think, Do we use the front door? because we always use the kitchen door. It’s one of those weird things where I was like, “We need to use the front door!” I had to lock the other door and pull the shade down. I was so relieved when my husband came home and started cooking. And when Katie brought the baby over, it just got defused and we looked at these two babies born on the same day in the same hospital. The irony is insane. But just to look at these babies, [I thought] Really? Life’s short. Let’s just eat an omelet, and we’ll all live our lives and be thankful we have these little people.
Q: What’s your absolute favorite relaxation ritual?
A: I love getting baths, and going to the Korean spas, and getting pummeled and scrubbed, and it’s so hot in the sauna you can’t even stand it. I have to do things in a pretty extreme way to calm down. So a Swedish massage is not going to do it! I need to know that they’re in there with their thumbs and moving stuff around. Even in a bath; if it’s not boiling hot, and I’m not thinking I’m detoxing, I’m like, what a waste of water! But, I’ll put in Epsom salts and boil something out until I get light-headed, and then I’ll be like, Ahhh!
Q: You may be 43, but you look 23, so clearly you’re doing something right. What’s the rest of your skin care routine?
A: I use a foaming cleanser. But I’ve been wearing so much makeup lately, I’ve started to break out—yeah, I’ve now decided to go through adolescence, because I didn’t go through it when I was supposed to! [laughs] The important thing is that my face is clean, but I have three things: I have to really cleanse my skin, use an astringent because of the breakouts, and then a really deep moisturizer.
I don’t care how greasy I look. It’s funny though, all these years, I’ve just found that there’s no miracle product. I love all of it. My husband perpetually makes fun of me about my creams and my jars and potions and lotions, but it’s simpler than anyone makes it: clean, tone, keep yourself moisturized. The rest is internal: Protect yourself from the sun and drink water.
Q: Is there any marriage advice that you think is just plain wrong?
A: That love is enough. It’s not practical. Without love, I don’t think it’s possible, but it’s not the only thing. Love without communication means nothing. Love with completely different views on how you want to raise children? Doesn’t work.
Love can produce the children, but it has nothing to do with the raising of the children. I grew up thinking, Oh, that’s it. All I have to do is fall in love. [sighs]. You may think love will change everything, but it really is different with children. Children don’t necessarily bring you together, they challenge you.
Q: Have you and Chris formed any habits to keep your bond strong?
A: We really have to have date night. The other morning, we had an hour. And instead of getting involved as we do with our emails and the calendar, I was like, “Please, let’s just go have coffee out on the porch.” He got the paper, and we went and sat out, and he had his glasses. I said, “Look at us, Grandpa!” It maybe lasted 45 minutes before life came back at us.
Q: With what sounds like a busy life, are you able to multi-task your workouts the same way you’re able to multi-task other things?
A: I used to. But the truth of the matter is, it really started to degrade the quality of the workout and the purpose of it to me. Because one of the things I feel after I’ve worked out most is that my mind needed the break. It’s the same thing with breastfeeding.
I used to do a million different things when I was breastfeeding, and finally my husband was like, “What are you doing? Don’t you think you’re missing out?” I thought I was being productive, and it wasn’t until I stopped doing all that, and…I’m gonna start to cry. But, watching her little cheeks go in and out, that’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And I took a deep breath, and my milk came in more. I have to remind myself all the time, things are just too busy. You need the balance.
Q: So you didn’t have a good sense of self-esteem when you were younger?
A: I had it, but it was a bit warped. I [used to think], ‘I’m going to be neat, organized and do really well in school.’ That was my thing. Confidence was just brain brain brain—that’s where all my sense of confidence came from. Nothing else. That was going to be my ticket. I don’t know how I knew.
Q: You’ve had a challenging childhood. How does that inform how you raise your daughters?
A: Well, I definitely see how unique my upbringing was, and how glad that they’re not being subjected to it. But I’m also so used to drama. I was always with a single mom and we never had schedules or anything. We were just Bohemian, us against the world, which was kind of great, but it certainly didn’t breed security. I’ve gotten hyper-sensitive to schedules and bath time, and eating at the dinner table. We don’t just “Bohemian” go out at nine o’clock and go get Chinese Food.
Q: You’re often seen wearing sleeveless dresses and toned arms, similar to Michelle Obama.
A: Do you know, I’ve been getting that! I just think that there’s so much to be proud of to see a physically fit woman. I think it’s so sexy. I’ve never not had them, and so, in order to not feel masculine or big, I had to throw it around in my head and celebrate it. I’ve never been petite, I’ve never been skinny. You have to flip it around and make it work for you.
Q: Do you ever need to lose a quick 5 pounds? And if so, what’s your go-to way?
A: I would cut out my beer, begrudgingly. And I would probably spin regularly, just up it. And I would probably stop eating at 6 o’clock and just eat little meals all throughout the day. I’ve never been good on fasts or anything, because then I’ll obsess over what I can’t have and I’ll want 10 pounds of it.
Q: Is there anything you’ve had to cut out of your busy life that you miss?
A: I feel like it’s as balanced as it’s going to be. I think once you have children, you just don’t have the same kind of freedom to pick up and go. But then, I sort of think, how often did I really do it? How spontaneous was I really? Part of what I think I miss is this fantasy of my wild days [laughs], but they never existed!
Q: You’re always trying something new, from Broadway to books to movies. Do you have to push yourself to try new things? Are you ever afraid you’re going to fail?
A: I just hate thinking I’m going to miss out. Now that I have these things under my belt, I think, ‘Wow, what else is possible?’ I’d hate to look back and think, ‘I could have written that book. Or, wow, I could have been a singer/dancer. I don’t like how I feel with regret.
Q: You’ve already done so much in life, but what’s left on your bucket list?
A: I want to go to India. I want to go back to Africa. I’m not the daredevil that I used to be—I used to really want to do all that bungee jumping, and now I just kind of want to live instead [laughs]. It just seems more appealing to me. I also want to write a memoir in the next 10 years. Ooh, also I want to learn to play an instrument; I definitely want to learn to play the piano.
Q: When do you feel at the peak of happiness?
A: I have to have just finished a Broadway musical, and I’m on a beach with my kids and my husband and the dog. I remember experiencing that minus the children after Cabaret, and the sense of relief and exhaustion I felt. Like, for me to be really relaxed, I have to be exhausted and feel like I so deserve it.
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